I burned the roast. - That's right. - No. Your father. All Simpsons start to lose their smarts around your age. The Bear Patrol is sure doing its job.Lisa: That's specious reasoning, Dad.Homer: Thank you, sweetie.Lisa: Dad, what if I were to tell you that this rock keeps away tigers.Homer: Uh-huh, and how does it work?Lisa: It doesn't work. Time has ravaged your once-youthful looks. A freezer man! ), https://transcripts.fandom.com/wiki/Lisa_the_Simpson?oldid=154965. Like numerous preceding episodes, "My Sister, My Sitter" deals with the relationship between Bart and Lisa. Now we need your Ice Man. Everybody hates birds, right? I'm sorry, little girl. Uh- Uh- - Want a hint? - I'm supposed to talk to you about Rroposition 305. Greaney specializes in writing Bart and Lisa episodes from the perspective of a kid. Can you drive me down to the "liberry"? -- ``I Love Lisa'' When Ralph professes, ``I'd do anything for Lisa,'' Homer decides to take him up on the offer. [Sighs] If you're suggesting I stayed up all night... trying to solve that childish puzzle... you're right. That means you went to college, right? Palindromes, anagrams, eat Lisa's pie, then voting. I rounded up every Simpson in the tri-city area... so I can prove to you there's nothing wrong with the Simpson genes. So, Lisa. Lisa! Lisa rolls her eyes. I figure if you've got something special to say... you have to share it with the world. - No! Authorities believe the wave of towel snappings will get worse... before it gets better. Homer: Um, I'm looking for something in an after-dinner burrito. Round Springfield is a Simpsons-adjacent podcast hosted by Allie Goertz and Julia Prescott where they interview writers, directors, showrunners, and voice-actors from the Simpsons-verse on their various paths to Springfield, failed pilots, other projects, and beyond. You know, on account of the Simpson gene. P.S. There is a note. Look at this mess. I'm surprised at you, Lisa. I'll just give you a C-minus. Lisa, honey, wake up. Palindromes, anagrams, eat Lisa's pie, then voting. I just got to- [Grunts] There. fun features >>> fanscripts Here you will find over fifty Simpsons fan scripts in .PDF format that have been sent to us over the years. Return to your state of living death at once, sir. The script never worked and was thrown out. You'll have it in 45 seconds, sir. Easy does it now. Ooh! 1 Opening sequence 2 The Shinning 3 Time and Punishment 4 Nightmare Cafeteria (Marge comes out from behind a curtain) Marge: Hello, once again. If I were her, I'd be buying me a great big chocolate apology cake. I wanted Audie Murphy! It's- [Whispering] Yeah! Sounds good. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); [Narrator] Man has always loved his buildings. She doesn't get her skin. She thinks she is so great. But you run it, right? [Gasps] This is just two years ago! 3F03 Lisa The Vegetarian (19 Quotes) 3F04 Treehouse Of Horror VI 3F05 King-Size Homer (14 Quotes) 3F06 Mother Simpson 3F07 Marge Be Not Proud (17 Quotes) 3F08 Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming (11 Quotes) 3F09 Two Bad Neighbors (26 Quotes) 3F10 Team Homer (12 Quotes) 3F11 Scenes From Class Struggle In Spring.. 3F12 Bart The Fink 3F13 Lisa The Iconoclast Your tomato soup is getting a skin on top. The defective Simpson gene is on the "Y" chromosome, so only men are affected. Homer tape à la porte] Homer : Lisa. Follow me. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on February 18, 1996. Hey! The George Raft look is dead. The Simpsons is an American adult animated sitcom created by Matt Groening for the Fox Broadcasting Company. It's damn near irresistible. The Wildlife Attacks Lisa. Whoo! I've awakened in the future. Remember there's nothing that says you can't be a Simpson and a success. Upon arrival in Cypress Creek, what really grabs Lisa’s attention is all the … I think the film should answer all your questions. Maybe I can't concentrate because of all your cooties! Fine, fine. Gib mir die Karte. - [Clatter] - Ah! We already bought us a stained glass bathrobe... and the world's fattest racehorse. I forgot all about it. [Clears Throat] Little girl... likes her brain. It's called lice. (runs to hide) Homer: (answering the door) She's in the can. Dear Log: It won't be long now before my mind melts... into a soft, Simpsony sludge. - [Building Collapses] - [Homer And Bart Laughing, Cheering] - [Bart And Homer Whooping] - [Groans] Hey, Lise, wanna join us? Please alter my pants as fashion dictates.". Time is running out. Scratchy: We come in peace for cats and mice everywhere. Now, let's get down to business. And please don't deprive yourself of wonderful books like To Kill a Mockingbird, Harriet the Spy and Yertle the Turtle possibly the best book ever written on the subject of turtle stacking. Lisa wakes up, asking for the mirror. He's got a lob but I don't hear a dob. - ##[Carnival] - Come one, come all. [Gasps] The project. What about the women? So wait a minute. Any new palindromes? Treasure, dog food? Oh, she's just upset 'cause I told her her brairs turning to mush. That didn't answer anything. Like you! In fact, she is so beloved that she was almost turned into a Disney princess for a promo. Hibbert Laughing] So you're worried about your genes, huh? Homer buys Lisa a pony that the family can ill afford. [Muffled] Come on, Lisa. [Lowers Voice] The real one's in my garage. Shows that have pages created for all episodes, but are not fully formatted, will be highlighted in light blue. Homer, your daughter is pouring her heart out. So please, I beg you, don't take your brain for granted. With Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith. Are ya tired, Lisa? What a gold mine! [Gasps] The project. These transcripts are perfect for finding that exact quotation you're trying to remember, reciting with your friends, or any other purpose you can think of! -- Homer, on Bart failing to be elected class president, ``Lisa's Substitute'' Lisa is … Hi, honey. 1 Synopsis 2 Full Story 3 Promo Cards 4 Songs 4.1 Song #1 4.2 Song #2 5 Behind the Laughter 5.1 Production 5.2 Reception 6 Citations Marge sends Lisa to a performing arts camp where artsy counselors (guest voices Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie of Flight of the Conchords) and … We're watching the TV. It's an eraser with pushpins. Unless, of course, they're replying to an editorial. LISA The mirror. Lisa: Dear Log: My worst fears have been confirmed, I've hit my mental and creative peak at the tender age of eight, what will my life be like after I descend into mediocrity? This is your great-uncle Chet. 08/17/98 17:46 ♪[Chorus Singing] [Tires Screeching] ... My name is Lisa Simpson. Look at Bart's homework. BART Whoa, cool, God is so in your face! Soon, the arts and literature I love will be replaced... by talk radio and vulgar mud flaps. Let the opening statements commence. But those candy bars are all squished and melted. Homer: I didn't think it was gonna fall over. We don't just put people on TV. [Dr. But in a larger sense, this trial will settle the age-old question of science versus religion. Mom, I think something's wrong with me. To pass the time, please enjoy this novelty pen. I'm afraid you're stuck with your genes, Lisa. [Both Growling] So I'm not doomed! Santa's Little Helper comes bounding up to Lisa, but when she smiles, the dog runs away scared. [Laughs] I should write this down. Wolfe gives it to her. 3F03 Lisa The Vegetarian (19 Quotes) 3F04 Treehouse Of Horror VI 3F05 King-Size Homer (14 Quotes) 3F06 Mother Simpson 3F07 Marge Be Not Proud (17 Quotes) 3F08 Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming (11 Quotes) 3F09 Two Bad Neighbors (26 Quotes) 3F10 Team Homer (12 Quotes) 3F11 Scenes From Class Struggle In Spring.. 3F12 Bart The Fink 3F13 Lisa The Iconoclast Then will you turn this projector on for me? It's cute. Well, we better leave him in there. Background. You probably should have researched this first, eh, Dad? - No what? [Scratching] - [School Bell Rings] - [Cheering] Okay, let's see. Time has ravaged your once-youthful looks. Get- Right- Back- - [Grunts] - I'll get your coat. Very nice, Janie. But I have something more important to say. I am Flamenco Flamingo. And I feel like there's nothing I can't do. HOMER Will you all stop worrying about that stupid comet? Stream full episodes online & watch live Sundays at 8/7c! F.D. Actually, it's not so much funny as it is long. Sure! Oh, it looks like somebody's "hoggir Dazs" ice cream. " - Well, I'll show ya. Maybe people got hurt. "The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase" is the twenty-fourth episode of the eighth season of The Simpsons. What strange wonders lie inside? Oh! Baldness too. marks an episode with not enough content. She's been gone for hours. Look at Bart's homework. Apr 1, 2017 - Typed script of “Lisa the Beauty Queen.” The Simpsons, March 27, 1992. While there, Homer is kidnapped. [énervé] Lisa ! Santa's Little Helper comes bounding up to Lisa, but when she smiles, the dog runs away scared. - Bart! Hey, angel pie. Meanwhile, Apu discovers Jasper Beardly frozen in his freezer, and turns the Kwik-E-Mart into a tourist's trap. "I have frozen myself so I may live to see the wonders of the future. Yeah! Lisa cackles evilly, then smashes the mirror. "Stark Raving Dad" is the first episode of the third season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. (impatiently) The mirror! For reasons beyond my control, I will soon become vapid, sluggish and slow-witted. [Laughing] [Cheering] [Homer] I didn't think it was gonna fall over. Lisa is in the kitchen. That's just foolishness! I'll dance on her grave. Bart cries. Your father. It's damn near irresistible. The best part was when the buildings fell down. Lisa trudges upstairs. Condition:--not specified. [Door Dings] Son, I represent a group of oil tycoons who make foolish purchases. Some of us are still trying to solve it. Go home! Directed by Carlos Baeza. Marge, get me your address book... four beers and my conversation hat. P.S. I'm sorry, little girl. It says, "Show me your tie. And I feel like there's nothing I can't do. MARGE Oh, it's so late! If you would just apologize to Louie, you could get your hair cut the way you want. Shows that are incomplete, or do not have enough transcripts added, will be highlighted in yellow. Little more. Good glavin. Yeah. Where is that elderly old man? Time: 5:22] At Springfield Elementary. - [Crowd Murmurs] The label vanished many years ago. The parade, she starts. Then the Simpson genes kicked in. This means I'm gonna be a failure? You can find it in the swirl of galaxies or the swirl in the center of a sunflower. (Lisa leaves the table) Still others buy my determination to lower taxes. How 'bout you, Lisa? What do you do, "Dr. Simpson"? Hé hé hé ! It's the kind John Glenn eats when he's not in space. The Simpsons is an Emmy Award-, Annie Award- and Peabody Award-winning animated comedy. That's not how you spell "dumbening.". Marvel at the floor that just won't come clean! But I have something more important to say. Oh, no. LISA Yeah, mom, c'mon! Hey, who unplugged my freezer? That's my chop!" I'm surprised at you, Lisa. Oh, Dad, I've never been happier to be your daughter! Synopsis Thanks to the unfounded predictions of Grampa Simpson, Lisa is convinced that she's genetically predisposed to lose her intelligence until Dr. Simpson reevaluates her. Yeardley Smith Signed Autograph THE SIMPSONS Bart Vs Australia Script Lisa COA. - Would you like to see it again? It's time to give my brain its last meal. I play a millionaire at parties. After getting food poisoning from eating Kwik-E-Mart food, Homer gets Apu fired, and Apu comes to stay with the Simpsons. In it, we see Lisa's face, with tongue sticking out, crudely pasted onto a cowgirl's body. . Lisa Simpson is often regarded as the smartest member of the Simpson family, and the one with the most good in her heart. Season 23’s “Lisa Goes Gaga” is one of The Simpsons ’ most despised episodes; the writers used Lady Gaga in the laziest way. Lisa sponsors an orphan in Brazil, and when he goes missing she convinces the family to go to Brazil to find him. I think the film should answer all your questions. [Lisa is eating in the kitchen and Marge is in the background. There's a brainteaser on the back: "Professor Provolone's Picto-Puzzle". Mais qu'est-ce qui se passe, t'as un problème ? This is terrible at best. Five, four, three, two, one. Hmm. [Laughs] Thanks, Lisa. Some things man is not meant to know. Lisa trudges upstairs. Pitched ideas. "She of Little Faith" is the sixth episode of The Simpsons ' thirteenth season. You get it after you leave. [Ralph sings Fox signature and the pictures panoramas to the moon where a spaceship lands and Scratchy comes out.] Oh, no! Those musical skills even extend to the distant future of Futurama, where her musical prowess ended up actually impacting the entire planet. Makeup. Bart: Oh it isn't fair. It's important to be yourself. You probably should have researched this first, eh, Dad? [Scoffs] Simpson gene. [Gasps] I'm supposed to talk to you about Rroposition 305. Her clothes are coming off! Finding Aid for the George Meyer Simpsons script files, 1990-2004 313 2 Descriptive Summary Title: George Meyer Simpsons script files, Date (inclusive): 1990-2004 Collection number: 313 Creator: Meyer, George Extent: 78 boxes (38.5 linear ft) Abstract: Writer and producer George Meyer is well known for his work on the long-running animated television comedy The Simpsons. Champion of the world! Some voters respond to my integrity, others are more impressed with my incorruptibility. Go away. [McClure Narrating] Have you ever wondered why fat parents have fat children... or why Chinese parents have Chinese children? Uh, this is your second cousin Stanley. [Itchy harms Scratchy with an American flag, laughs and crazy his helmet. Dad was a good speller? » Transcripts » TV & Movie Transcripts » S » The Simpsons. But if you look at the clues, you can figure it out. Oh, napkin. I had one last week. You can find it in the swirl of galaxies... or the swirl in the center of a sunflower. [Buzzing] Don't open it, Ralph. [Chuckling] - [Door Dings] - Hi, frozen body. And I ran out of butter, so I had to spray the English muffins with PAM. Old man! Is she dying? You have to listen to the notes she's not playing. It's the kind John Glenn eats when he's not in space. But in a larger sense, this trial will settle the age-old question... of science versus religion. - Not finished, Lisa? I feel like I'm getting dumber by the minute. [Gulping, Chewing] - Pretty neat, huh? Your brother's comir along nicely. Old m- [Screams] Hey, look. Not until he admits he's a jerk! Where is that elderly old man? MARGE Honey, you look fine. Oh. - Oh. Show's over, folks. Voiced by Yeardley Smith since day one of the show, she has become a type of cartoon icon for many people seeking social justice around the world. Mama's watchir her stories. Back at home, Marge comforts Lisa. Dear Log: My worst fears have been confirmed. Not until he admits he's a jerk! SS is dedicated to The Simpsons and host to thousands of free TV show episode scripts and screencaps, cartoon framegrabs and movie scripts. Of course. [Gasps]. [Chuckles] Hey, you know who would love this? What will my life be like after I descend into mediocrity? I don't even like him. It's the best friend you'll ever have. Lisa smacks the chop out of Bart's hand and into Homer's mouth. I tried to write. [Yawns] Why bother? Lisa, honey, wake up. Did you hear that, Lisa? Join your family. The defective Simpson gene is on the "Y" chromosome, so only men are affected. Lisa rolls her eyes. - What are you talking about? All Simpsons start to lose their smarts around your age. Lisa the Skeptic “It looks like a human skeleton, but these other bones almost look like wings.” Lisa Simpson “You mean like an angel!” Ned Flanders "Lisa the Skeptic" is the eighth episode of Season 9. Whoa! I'm trying to get fired. - Hey! [Carnival] - Behold the can of mystery! [Rod And Todd Reading] "Show me your"- - Hey! Oh! © 2000-2021 Forever Dreaming. It says, "Show me your tie." Did you get that brainteaser yet? What's your opinion? The Web's largest and most comprehensive scripts resource. Lisa's in class bemoaning her problem. Don't open it, Ralph. I could never sell him. Oh, she's just upset 'cause I told her her brairs turning to mush. <-- Back to List of Shows Shows with not enough episodes listed, or no episodes listed at all, will be highlighted in red. We don't just put people on TV. Suppression of Green Energy In the 582nd episode of "The Simpsons," Lisa invents a car powered by solar energy to race in the Alternative Energy Derby, only for … Go ahead, Chet. This means I'm gonna be a failure? It's not Egyptian. And it's nothing to be ashamed of. [Grunting] [Grunting] - Hey! I'm Chief of Complicated Surgery at the lnvasiCare Clinic. But it doesn't mean you can't live a long and pointless life. Sounds like she's hitting a baby with a cat. Or an environmental lawyer. [Singsong] Boring! Let's go out for some frosty swirls. This is a convenience store... not a freak show. Apu: Oh, it looks like somebody's "Havgen Dazs" ice cream. This is your great-uncle Chet. It's so luminous and vibrant! Dinner will be ready in three minutes. Let's find out together. Tell her what you do. I bought my lunch at the gas station. Whoo-hoo! Most of the characters have even evolved from exaggerated personalities into full-blown stereotypes, which is why it's interesting to discover that the two of smartest characters in the series, Lisa Simpsons and Martin Prince, are both children. Then will you turn this projector on for me? Um, I shoot birds at the airport. - Grampa! Episode 1F10, Season 5 First aired Feb 10, 1994 Written by … Except this stupid braintea- [Gasps] I got it! Moochir war widows. If she started dinner three minutes earlier, we wouldn't be in this mess. Whoa! Your tomato soup is getting a skin on top. - Lisa. The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror is an annual special episode of The Simpsons consisting of several parodies of horror movies, TV shows, novels, and other horror elements. Well, sir, I step in front of cars and sue the drivers. Oh, Lisa's right. We must relinquish the giddy glamour of show business... and return to the humble pleasures of the neighborhood shopkeeper. $1. Bart and Homer growl and fight for the lamp chop between them. And it all started with the dancing shoes you bought me. Son, I represent a group of oil tycoons who make foolish purchases. - What way, angel pie? The head of the Simpson family, Homer, is not a typical family man. - Wait a minute. Just because you and Dad and Bart went downill doesn't mean it's gonna happen to me. BART But the flood's only knee-high! The animation is really choppy.) Do all Simpsons go through a process of"dumbening"? Just because you and Dad and Bart went downill... doesn't mean it's gonna happen to me. No Interest if paid in full in 6 mo on $99+Opens in a new window or tab* No Interest if paid in full in 6 months on $99+. Easy. Marge enters (in reused footage from earlier episode] Marge:: How many times can you laugh at that cat getting hit by the moon? No snacks. Did you get that brainteaser yet? MARGE Honey, you look fine. Hey, angel pie. Wait a minute, Homer. Unless, of course, they're replying to an editorial. Now, you know the agenda. [Groans] So, Lisa. - But those candy bars are all squished and melted. Somebody's gotta set that girl straight and I know how to do it. Whoo! Maybe I should just give up now and settle into a mindless, happy stupor. [Lisa sort lentement. I've got to find out more. Unless you're a man. D.N.A is God's recipe for making you. Because your father has a big surprise for you. You look tired. At least I'd like to. It first aired on the Fox network in the United States on September 19, 1991. - Oh, yeah. The script has been signed by Dan Castellaneta (the voice of Homer Simpson), Yeardly Smith (Lisa Simpson) and Nancy Cartwright (Bart Simpson). You take a dash of Dad, a pinch of Mom then we bake for nine months, and- Mmm, that's good Billy. Told you. Isn't there any way I can change my D. Liftoff! That's a good idea. " Lisa the Iconoclast " is the sixteenth episode of The Simpsons ' seventh season. Marge notices the time. - [Clank] - [Laughing] Oh. The Simpsons drive home. [Sighs] If you're suggesting I stayed up all night trying to solve that childish puzzle you're right. In the episode, Bart Simpson and his father Homer accidentally launch a model rocket into the Springfield church, causing the church council to accept funding plans from Mr. Burns for reparation. ##[Ends] The best part was when the buildings fell down. - Please, young customers ignore the frozen gentleman, and return to your impulse buying. Lisa insulted us, Mom. Cowgirl: Howdy, pardners! Ah, well, Sanjay. No. Not according to any movie I've ever seen. Answer this, Professor. Marge, we need No snacks. No, no! Looking for the scripts matching Lisa Simpson? T'es tombée dedans ? For your information, none of your business. [Dr. Hibbert Laughing] So you're worried about your genes, huh? » Transcripts » TV & Movie Transcripts » S » The Simpsons 09x17 - Lisa the Simpson. Good glavin. Hello. Well, does it hurt when you go like this? Look at my "aggieculture" project. And it's nothing to be ashamed of. - I don't wanna turn out that way. - Better. You're just having a bad day. It's me, Ronaldo! On The Simpsons, the residents of Springfield aren't the most intelligent people in the world. Well, does it hurt when you go like this? Aw, they just came for the buffalo wings. Aw, but we wanna stare at the ice dude. We're nothing but a big bunch of losers. A great memorable quote from the The Simpsons movie on Quotes.net - Homer: Well, there's not a bear in sight. La famille Simpson ainsi que d'autres personnes font la queue pour rentrer dans le studio d'enregistrement de l'émission de Krusty] I rounded up every Simpson in the tri-city area so I can prove to you there's nothing wrong with the Simpson genes. Lisa smacks the chop out of Bart's hand and into Homer's mouth. Join your family. You have to if you want to be an architect. Directed by Steven Dean Moore. Now, you know the agenda. Lisa chases the train as it pulls away, then looks at the note. Lisa looks worried. Fine. Come on. Wait, "Dumbening" isn't even a word! 's of snacks, stat! [ Clears Throat ] Rise to vote, sir. Oh, your dad used to be smart as a monkey. That is the end of our freak show. It can't just be a bad day. Let the opening statements commence. Do all Simpsons go through a process of"dumbening"? It seems that there was this- Whoo! N. I'm strongly opposed to Proposition, uh, 305! Let's go out for some frosty swirls. - You get it after you leave. In fact, I got a real funny story about that. Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is … But I didn't know what state you lived in. - Yea! - I don't need a hint, Ralph. You didn't ask everybody. Lisa, there's no single answer. Oh, ain't no big deal. At the dinner table ... Bart didn't get one vote? Oh, no! So wait a minute. Ha. [Announcer] And now, When Surgery Goes Wrong. In the Simpson living room, the family are watching this great film. Can you drive me down to the "liberry"? Bart enters] Bart: Hey Lis. The episode centers on fictional pilot episodes of non-existent television series derived from The Simpsons, and is a parody of the tendency of networks to spin off characters from a hit series. Itchy travels back to Earth with Scratchy space-rocket. Moving him now could kill him and tire us out. - [Thumps] - Oh. Just look at all that ice cream. We're nothing but a big bunch of losers. - Whoo! With Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith. Homer: Mr. Simpson, do you think it's appropriate for a ten-year old boy to steal a beer with intent to kiss? I'm ten times the Krusty fan you are. I'm getting worried about Lisa. - [Alarm Blares] - [Men Shouting] You may remember me from such medical films as Alice Doesn't Live Anymore and Mommy, What's Wrong with that Mars Face? The Simpsons 9F02 - Lisa the Beauty Queen Episode Script. [Scoffs] I can do that at home. [Chortling] [Announcer] And now, a Channel 6 editorial reply. s31e12 - The Miseducation of Lisa Simpson. If I were her, I'd be buying me a great big chocolate apology cake. I even have the Krusty home pregnancy test! - Hey, I am too. Lisa, I think you'll really enjoy it here. In the episode, Lisa writes an essay on Springfield founder Jebediah Springfield for the town's bicentennial. If you would just apologize to Louie, you could get your hair cut the way you want. Lisa: I'm not sure if I should go. - Moving him now could kill him and tire us out. Thanks. That's right. Your brother's comir along nicely. Hassle in the Castle (Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! Ooh, a tough question but a fair one. [Southern Accent] Quit-You kids knock it off. That's not how you spell "dumbening". [End of Act One. [Southern Accent] Quit-You kids knock it off. For reasons beyond my control, I will soon become vapid, sluggish and slow-witted. [End of Act One. [Laughs] - [Both Laughing] - [Homer] Oh! So before that happens, I want to share some things with you that have meant a lot to me. Maybe I should just give up now and settle into a mindless, happy stupor. Then his mind started gettir lazy... and now he's dumb as a chimp. If you've written a script and would like to see it on this page, feel free to e-mail it to us.Also, for nearly instant feedback, you can post your fan fiction in the "Itchy & Scratchy Studios" section of our forums. In Season 8, a similar episode called "The Secret War of Lisa Simpson" was made where Bart goes to military school. 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